when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body
Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself
michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN
Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks
michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this
It all began on a dreary summer Thursday, Michael, short for his age had measured his height 3 times this morning.
His mother had made a joke, but he would be damned if he wasn’t tall enough for the biggest rollercoaster this time. The last 4 trips to the park had left him standing in line only to be denied by the stupid lizard creature with it’s tail indicating how tall you needed to be to ride.
But not this day. Michael had marked his progress over the last few months, this time, he knew, he was finally getting on that coaster.
As if in response to his grim determination, when he handed his ticket to the bored ride operator a crack of thunder rang out and the grey skies finally dumped the rain they had been holding back.
“Sorry kid, no rides in a thunderstorm,” she didn’t look sorry, she didn’t look like she even cared, merely stepping back under her overhang to avoid the deluge.
Michael stood in the rain, finally tall enough, but still denied. He heard the singing of the animatronic people at the wild west shoot-em-up game down the quickly turning to mud park walkways. The words of their cheerful song peppered him like shots of a bb gun.
He hated theme parks, hated these annual family trips that left him alone and miserable…. and he would have his revenge
The worst excuse I’ve ever heard for gendering books is that, “What if it confuses my kid? What if they grow up gay or trans because I let them read about too many girl/boy things?”
Your son’s first crush might be the rowdiest boy in a story about boys doing “boy things”. Your daughter might want to be with the gentle seamstress who makes the magic cloak, not be her. Your tomboy might be a boy, and he might identify with the protagonist’s science-loving crush, not her.
Your kid is your kid, and they will be who they are meant to be. Give them all the boy/girl books you want, but you can’t control how they’ll feel about them, or what they’ll take away from the story.
As a parent, you can’t iron the world flat to keep your kid from stumbling, but you can absolutely prepare them for the bumps. If they walk an unexpected path, having read more widely will only ease their way, and get them where they need to be.
This email has been going around to some fans attending the shows. Just a reminder that this is fake. Brendon doesn’t do meet and greets. Zack has also said this is fake.
(credit to shannonsweetsx on twitter for the picture)
my brother is getting married and i’m so excited to fulfill my destiny as the embarrassing drunk gay sister who flirts with the bride for the entire ceremony
i’m gonna yell “RUN AWAY WITH ME” to her during the vows
there are people out there genuinely worried that I’m gonna steal my brother’s bride away the day of their wedding… i’m laughing. I’ve known her since I was born, we just love annoying the shit out of my brother and this “you picked the wrong sibling” joke has been going on for as long as I can remember. The whole family is in on it. The three of us are super close, she’s always been family. Also we are really bad at romantic weddings (my Mom wore jeans at my Dad’s and hers, signed a bunch of papers and then got blackout drunk), and my brother and his girlfriend probably won’t even have a “real” ceremony, just a celebration between friends and family. I love my brother and he already knows I’m gonna pull some stupid stunt, it’s what we do. His girlfriend is usually the one to initiate these shitty jokes, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one to stop the “ceremony” to say some shit like “WAIT THIS IS THE WRONG SIBLING”. please don’t take any of this seriously lmao
that said, i’m definitely showing up half naked to her bachelorette party as the “surprise stripper” with a sash that says “the sibling your should be marrying” and a shitty plastic tiara
UPDATE:
1) for people confused about the “I’ve known her since I was born (…) she’s always been family”: She’s the granddaughter of our parents’ neighbors, we all grew up together and my brother and her have been in love since they were babies. He held her hand as she made her first steps, they even have a picture on their wall of the moment before she first tried to get up
2) IT’S OFFICIAL, I’M GONNA BE MY BROTHER’S BEST MAN. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST MAN DO? A SPEECH. Everything is going according to plan.
Cheat on each other or anyone else (especially not if the cheating is portrayed as romantic).
Die tragically, violently or AT ALL.
To all the people in the notes going “but but tragedy is a valid form of…” Yeah, sorry, straights broke it with decades of nothing but tragedy for LGBT characters. This is a moratorium on all such tragedy films with tragic endings for at least the next 50-75 years at which point there will be a review to determine if mainstream media has EARNED it.
From 1922 to 1968 the Motion Picture Production Code(commonly known as the Hays Code) enforced rules regarding the treatment of gay characters in tv and film. Homosexuality and gender nonconformity could be acknowledged, but it had to be punished to show that consequences would come from such “immorality.” Showing these characters as creepy, predatory, unfaithful, etc etc was common, and for decades pretty much every queer or queer coded character was brutally murdered. The homophobic tropes born from the Hays code are pervasive in media today. The sheer amount of tragedy and violence written into queer media in the last century has in the long term damaged people’s perceptions of what queer stories are “supposed” look like.
New Bechdel-like test for gay/lesbian romance films: If your queer piece of media complies with the Hays code, start over.
